Conjuring with Maths

I am indebted to my friend Larry for having forwarded this little ditty.

“This comes from 2 math teachers with a combined total of 70 years experience. It has an indisputable mathematical logic.

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint... it goes like this:

What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

 

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 2324 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 =96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 =100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 =103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.


Now you know why some people are where they are!”

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This got me thinking about how easy it is to hoodwink people.

I had some great Maths teachers, and they would all have gone ballistic at seeing this story, and some may well be turning in their graves. To be fair, one of them might not because, he hadn't a clue. We didn't get on because he was ruining my favourite subject, and certainly never understood that there was more than one way of getting a 'right' answer. On second thoughts, perhaps this so-called teacher even penned the above story.

Sorry, I digress... the above story is an excellent example of taking two topics, merging them into one, and coming up with a plausible answer... most people will nod in amazement at the 'cleverness' of the conclusion, without considering, even for the briefest of moments, whether or not they have just been sold absolute bunkum.

The first premise is whether 100% is the most one can expect in life, and the second an illusion based on a total ignorance of arithmetic (sticking a 'mathematics' label on the prestidigitation merely serves to add credence to the conjuring).

So, please allow me to walk you through this field of illusion (hope you're wearing wellies because it may get messy).

A percentage is a ratio expressed as the relationship to 100, or if you prefer, parts per 100. Merely adding numbers to each other, without a base, does not give a percentage.

All this is just as nonsensical as saying that if you add the days in the month of January (31), February (28... at least in non-leap years) and March (31) to the number of letters in "skiing only" (10) then, it is 100% predetermined that you must ski in winter. Although the arithmetic, sure enough, adds to 100, it does not equate to 100%, and is of course total bunkum.

So, in the example, allegedly, put forward by the alleged maths teachers, it would be useful (alright, no use at all but, a bit of fun) to take the base as being the sum of the numbers from 1 to 26, which equates to 351, and then express the values as percentages, which would give:

 

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 98/351 = 28%
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 96/351 = 27%
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 100/351 = 28%

To which we could add

 

L-U-C-K = 47/351 = 13%

 

… and if you add together Hardwork, Knowledge, Attitude, and Luck, you would get 341, which would still leave you with only just over 97%.

 

So the moral of the story is don’t believe everything you read and always come to your own conclusions.